The Subway Grinches

Subway Grinches

T’was the week before Christmas and all through the town
Every Who here in Whoville was wearing a frown
The shopping not finished, the brightness diminished
With mean Subway Grinches beating them down

There were two! Two foul Grinches, with hearts hard and cold
The Management Grinch was just rolling in gold
He was fat! He was false! And a terrible cook
Unless you enjoy an unwholesome stewed book!
And what can I say of his mean union brother?
That Grinch would steal Christmas from children and mothers
His workers were fed! His workers had money
His workers had pensions and health plans like honey!

They talked and they talked deep into the night
But neither would bend, they spoiled for a fight
And in the wee hours, ahead of the day,
Union Grinch called a strike, just to get his own way!

They locked up the subways, they hooted and hollered
They marched and they picketed, yelling for dollars
So the Whos down in Whoville sneakered their feet,
Rode cabs, skates and bicycles and took to the streets

Then at last, the Great Who of Whoville arose
Grabbed one Grinch by the ear, the other by nose
Led them inside to the bargaining table
And paddled their pants as the Great Who is able

“Look here, Boys!” said he, “best make up on the double
You’re both much too big to be causing such trouble!”
Now sad and ashamed, the two Grinches blushed
With tears in their eyes, to the table they rushed
They stood and they talked, with their feet getting tired
Shook hands and made up as the Great Who required

Now Whoville was humming again with bright cheer
The subways were running, and Christmas was near
Even Grinches were happy and grinned ear to ear

So if your mass transit’s been snitched by a Grinch
Remember the Great Who and don’t give an inch
If you can’t get to work in the usual way,
Just stick out your thumb and hail Santa’s sleigh!