Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Spirit of the Law

In a few days I will be running for the Board of an organization that has sadly lost its way. I have watched and protested every way I know how, while democracy and fair treatment have been ignored. I have protested when reputations were destroyed by false rumors, and when employees were mistreated. I have protested when a small group of Board members excluded the rest of the Board from meaningful and informed decision making, taking the power to themselves and leaving the rest of the Board unable to do its fiduciary duty.

My protests have been expressed in emails, in a blog I took down not long ago, called "Brooklyn Ethics," and in the media. I've complained in every situation possible that this organization has stopped doing its mission and has stopped honoring its core values. But unfortunately, these protests have had no effect and have simply resulted in my own demonization.

I don't expect to get on the Board, but as a last gesture before I wipe the dust of this place off my feet, I am giving them one more chance.

They won't take it. The die is already cast. I am the only person running with the blessing of the nominating committee but "without Board endorsement." They have a slick lawyer assisting them pro bono, who has made mincemeat of our constitution, attributing powers to the President and to the Executive Committee that were never intended. Of all people, an attorney should recognize that there is not simply the letter of the law, but a spirit of the law that must be honored as well.

The founders of this organization surely never intended the President to be a dictator. As a nonprofit organization, it is supposed to be ruled by the entire Board. As a membership organization, it is supposed to be informed by the membership and follow their wishes. Members are supposed to have access to information. Instead they have been spoon fed only what the ruling cadre wants them to know.

When the President is given the powers to make unilateral decisions, and when the Executive Committee is allowed to take over the functions of the full board, the spirit of the law lies mortally wounded. If the membership is content with this, they are no better than the contented cud-chewers who are more interested in American Idol than in dealing with the loss of civil liberties that has been imposed on America by the present administration. The analogy works completely.

I am prepared to leave if the tide goes against us, because there will be nothing meaningful we can accomplish there any more. There are other similar organizations where good works can be done, and I am already beginning to set my sights on those.

Monday, May 28, 2007

"Odd Man Out" by Sheridan Morley

I have just finished reading "Odd Man Out" by Sheridan Morley, a biography of James Mason. It's an interesting book and gets into some depth in his career and personal struggles. I agree with people who've read the book before me that Morley seemed to have a jaundiced view of Mason and put all of his actions into the worst possible light.

Yet, Mason wasn't a spoiled superstar, by any means. He never achieved that status, even though he deserved it. His pacifism during WWII and his antagonism to first the British and then the American establishment film industries made him less popular than he should have been. I see him as being ahead of his time, a man who wanted to have some choice and control over his acting career, at a time when this wasn't really done. He refused to sign with a studio and that certainly hurt him. It may have been foolish in those days but he was also a courageous nonconformist.

And I have always admired courageous nonconformists.

There were some very funny lines, such as what he supposedly said about his three year old daughter: that he and his first wife decided to let little Portland smoke a cigarette and let her cough and hate the taste, so that she would not smoke later on in life. Someone asked how that worked out and apparently Mason answered, "Not so well, she's now smoking two packs a day!"

I'm sure that was nonsense but what a great witty remark!

I was glad to read that Mason finally found happiness in his last years, with his second wife. He was an excellent and professional actor, always showing up on time and taking his work very seriously. (Even though he called it a silly profession). He deserves the recognition he is getting from fans today and into the future.

Soon I'll be receiving his autobiography. That should be most interesting also. A different slant and hopefully a less melancholy one.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

One Day to Relive Forever

This morning Bruce and I went to services at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Brooklyn. The sermon was about "A Day to Live," and a question the minister posed was, if you had to choose one day in your life to relive for all eternity, what day would you choose?

I was reminded of the segment in "Our Town" where the deceased Emily begs for one more day on earth and picks her twelfth birthday because she advised to choose a very ordinary day. Of course she is disappointed and heartbroken as she tries to alert her family that she is really grown up now and has died, and tries to get them to really see her one last time. But to everyone else it is her twelfth birthday, it is business as usual, and no one really sees her.

So in the end she is disappointed because she realizes how we all rush through life with our minds on other things and hardly ever stop to see the person inside, even the people we love the most.

If I had to pick a day to relive forever I don't know that I could do it. Even the most perfect day ever would get incredibly boring after a while. It probably wouldn't even take the first year, and then I'd be stuck with it millennium after millennium, forever? Somehow I don't find that an appetizing thought. I hope the Japanese are wrong and that is not what the afterlife is like at all!

I could probably compile a list of best experiences that I would want to relive, but even so I doubt they would hold up if I had to repeat them eternally. It almost sounds like a variation on "No Exit" to me, except that initially it would be pleasant, even delightful. Maybe if I only had to relive them once a month, or once a year, they would be something to look forward to.

But in the afterlife, I hope there are new things to learn and experience. I hope there are new spirits to meet and possibilities for spiritual growth. I hope there are opportunities to help those still on this side of the veil. What I would like for eternity is the feeling of love, acceptance, and positive challenges that change but offer the chance to make a difference, even when we are no longer equipped with a body. And of course I do believe there is reincarnation and I would like to pick a new lifetime that will be different and exciting to me.

But even the most perfect day, over and over like a broken record? No thanks!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

BSEC Peace Site Day

On Sunday Jason and I went to attend the Peace Site awards at the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture.

The place was packed (attendance at Platform has been way down this year) in a way it hasn't been in ages. If you didn't know about the rotten underbelly, the fascistic way the Board is now being run, it would seem to be a wonderful place. It seemed almost like the old days, before we had a coup and before the band of marauders took over the Board and twisted ethics, law and democracy out of recognition.

But it isn't the old days, and despite the fact that people were all smiley, the knives were underneath those smiles. Someone praised the work of the Constitution task force, which I was on, and said she didn't know we had such great common ground in that we provided for the assets to go to the AEU upon dissolution of the Society.

When we set up that clause, we selected the AEU not because we love them, but because we knew that would make it the most palatable choice, and because we wanted to prevent the members of the coup from grabbing the assets to themselves (illegally) or else pouring them into some new and unrecognizable organization that they are plotting to start up when they have driven all of us away.

The Peace Site award went to IVAW, Iraq Veterans Against the War, and was accepted by Demond Mullins. Demond is a handsome young man of color and he spoke directly from his heart. He did not wish to accept that he was any kind of hero or that he deserved to accept the award on behalf of IVAW. He called himself a coward and said he went to Iraq because he was too afraid to resist and end up in jail. He said he joined IVAW not because he cared about the Iraqis we are killing or about the other recruits who will die there, but because of his own guilt about things he did in the war.

Well, he is still a hero in my eyes even if he did join the antiwar movement because of his guilt. That shows he wasn't brainwashed by the military into believing that everything he did was right because it was for America. He kept his own mind and his own conscience even if he did wrong things and his conscience tormented him.

We had music by Jacqui DuPree and Ben Silver, singing sixties songs of antiwar protest. They made me cry. After all we went through with Vietnam, here we are again in a crazy, stupid war, and here we are again with people saying we "can't just pull out." Well, why not, it's high time the Iraqis took over and dealt with their own problem. We got rid of Saddam Hussein for them, now let them create democracy. Leave our kids out of it.

All I know is, this war is wrong, it is based on a lie, and so many of our kids have died already for this lie. I don't want them restoring a draft and I don't want Jason sucked into it. I'll support him going to jail or anything he needs to do, not to be sucked into that, because I know he isn't a soldier type and he would not do well in a war. And even if you ARE a soldier type, you can still be blown to bits by a car bomb.

Anyhow it was an excellent program. Maureen gets most of the credit since she organized it and did all the background work, with some assistance from the Ethical Action committee.

One weird note was that people from the LaRouche committee were outside the building soliciting signatures to impeach Cheney. I almost signed their petition but then I read it and saw where they were from, and handed it back to them. I tried to warn several people about what was going on. The LaRoucher's came into the building and sat in our row, and I warned Lisel about them. She went to them and got them to leave, but there was another woman I didn't know about who stayed.

Anyhow, it was a gorgeous day and the program was excellent. It's going to be hard to walk away from BSEC knowing the potential it used to have for good. But it has lost that potential because of the present governance. Sad, very sad, that it will have to end, for us and for the Society as a whole, because they have put their feet on a road that has a dead end not too far in the future.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Writer's Block Day

I wonder if we have an official "Writer's Block Day" on the calendar. There are so many outlandish little holidays that we very well might. That would be a great day to sit down at the keyboard with no particular idea in mind, just like I am doing now, and simply type until some idea, no matter how absurd, pops into our minds.

Writer's Digest offers writing prompts in its e-newsletter. Maybe we would all be required to use one of them. In any case we would have to write until we produced something that made some form of sense.

What's the opinion out there, would people like to start a brand new holiday? How would we celebrate it? Google would turn the two "o's" into tiny computer monitors. Or maybe into the letter "o" as it used to appear on a typewriter key. That would be fascinating and creative.

Maybe we could look up a psychology site and examine Rorschach or TAT tests, a new one each year, and write our impressions. Of course, some clever psychologist could analyze our stories and figure out all our secret obsessions, but it would be fun writing our fantasy stories based on the tests.

I had nothing in mind for a post today but the idea of a Writer's Block Day seems like a good holiday. Maybe people could hold parties that day where each person would write a paragraph of a round robin story. The next day, millions of these stories could be uploaded to the web and readers would vote for the best one.

How about it, shall we apply for a particular date? How about Shakespeare's birthday?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Freedom's Coming

It's May 15th, and on June 27th, my life will change forever. Jason will graduate high school. Yes, he'll still be my responsibility in a lot of ways, but I will never again have to concern myself with supervising homework. I won't stay home nights to make sure he's studying for his tests. With any luck he will find a summer job (he is still looking) but whether he does or not, I'm going to be freed from the bondage of sitting home, forever.

At the end of August he'll go away to college and we'll have an instantly empty nest. That's a drawback to having only one child, but we can't change that now. I'll miss him terribly but already my mind is jumping around and I'm planning all the things I'll be able to do that I've had to put on hold for 18 years.

I can get a job. I'd prefer to work three days a week so that I can also do other projects. I'd like to publish my book, "How to Kill a Church." If it gets published I would have to publicize it to increase sales, because publishers themselves don't do an adequate job of that. I'd like to get the business plan completed for a pet sitting business with Jason as our star pet sitter. That will take time and I'd like at least two free days a week so that I can work on these other projects.

But we also can use some more money to fund college, so a job, even a part time job, would be a big help.

I've been reading some business oriented books along with my usual fiction, and I'll review them here also when I am done with them.

In addition I'd like to do more volunteer work. I'm investigating organizations where I can use my skills and make a positive contribution that will actually make a difference in the world beyond the organization's walls.

So I am investigating rejoining a local Amnesty International chapter and I'm thinking about volunteering with the AARP. I'm also volunteering to work with the Association of Fundraising Professionals so that I can become better known in the field.

I'm going to take more advantage of free programs in Manhattan so that I can continue learning about writing, fundraising and other subjects of interest.

I know I'll miss Jason and I'm sure I will worry about him when he's upstate in college. But I feel freedom looming on the horizon, a freedom I haven't had in so many years. It's time to pursue my own interests now. It's only six weeks, but already I'm just about jumping up and down with impatience, wanting it to begin.

Monday, May 14, 2007

"Five Fingers" and "Botany Bay"

This past weekend I got to see two James Mason films, "Five Fingers" and "Botany Bay." They were both excellent. In "Five Fingers" Mason played a spy, an Englishman who so resented being a valet that he betrayed his country to the Nazis by selling them photos of top secret documents. He almost got away with it but got his just desserts at the end. However the tension and suspense became so strong that I found myself hoping he would not get caught, even though he was playing a miserable excuse for a human being and deserved to be caught and shot.

Botany Bay was filmed in color and James Mason was again the bad guy, playing a sea captain transporting British prisoners to the Australian penal colony at Botany Bay. His compassion and basic humanity in that role were about the same as Captain Bligh's in "Mutiny on the Bounty."

He was a thoroughly rotten character, mistreating the prisoners, locking up a little boy until he died of the cold during a storm, using punishments like keelhauling that hadn't been used in many years. He was also ruthless with women, attempting to seduce a young actress on the ship as his "payment" for treating her well. Finally he does get his comeuppance but it was too bad that it came from an aborigine and not from one of the people he treated like dirt.

James Mason was gorgeous in both roles, gorgeous and a rat. He was, truly, the "man people loved to hate." It takes a certain talent to play a good villain, and in many of his roles, Mason played that villain.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls, published in 1940, has a lot in common with A Farewell to Arms. This is another tragic love story set against the backdrop of war. Only this time, the war is much more immediate for the main character, Robert Jordan, than the war was for Frederick Henry until later in A Farewell to Arms. Once again we have an American fighting a battle that was not America's, at least not yet. Robert Jordan is fighting on the side of the Republic in the Spanish Civil War, trying to prevent the rise of fascism in Spain. He was a professor of Spanish in Montana but he believes in the cause of liberty and in justice for the poor so he has volunteered to work as a dynamiter with the Republican Army.

At the beginning of the book Jordan is completely devoted to the cause. He receives orders to blow up a certain bridge at the time of an attack on the fascist posts, and he knows that because of the timing it is going to be a dangerous and probably fatal mission. Although he knows he is probably going to die he accepts his orders and goes into the mountains behind the fascist lines to carry them out. His guide is an elderly man, Anselmo, who believes in the cause but states openly that he likes to hunt animals but hates killing men. Jordan is the opposite: he does not like to kill animals but he is resigned to killing men when it is needed in a war situation.

Right away when he meets up with the small band of guerrillas whom he needs to aid him in his mission, he realizes that their leader Pablo is going to be trouble. Their first meeting is not very pleasant. Pablo is against blowing up the bridge. He cares more about the small group of people he is with than about winning the war on the side of freedom. Jordan senses that Pablo is afraid of death and is very likely to do something to betray the mission.

When he meets the other guerrillas he meets the beautiful Maria and falls in love immediately. Maria's parents were executed by the fascists and she and other girls were raped and abused. Her head was shaved by the fascists and it is just starting to grow back in. Jordan finds her very attractive but he wants her to grow her hair longer so that she will look more feminine.

He spends a little under three days with her. At night they make love and also once during the day. It is a new experience for Jordan because he has been with women but he has never been deeply in love before. Maria wants to be the ideal woman for him and keeps telling him that Pilar, Pablo's wife, has been instructing her on how to please a husband. She is very concerned with her duties as a wife, and indeed they declare to each other that they are already married although they plan to marry once the bridge is blown up and the attack is over. This is similar to Catherine Barkley's attitude to Henry, that she must obey him in every way and be exactly what he wants her to be. Once again I think Hemingway had very old-fashioned ideas about women even though he did not care if they were virgins and he saw nothing wrong about a woman sleeping with a man she loved before or even without getting married. I think he would be shocked today at the way women are not brought up to think they have to cater to men and obey them all the time.

Pablo continues to give Jordan trouble. Sometimes he is friendly. At other times, such as when he is drunk, he becomes very insulting. Several people, the gypsy and even Pablo's wife Pilar, encourage Jordan to kill Pablo because they fear he has become a useless coward and will betray them. Pablo tries to attack Jordan's manhood by asking if in America men wear skirts (even though he knows it is Scotland where men wear kilts). Jordan does not let his temper get away from him and he lets Pablo live.

But on the third night while Jordan is sleeping with Maria, Pablo slits open the backpacks full of dynamite and steals Jordan's exploder and some of the dynamite. This, plus the snowstorm the day before that allows the fascists to track the horse of one of their slain officers, is a terrible setback and now Jordan knows it is not going to be possible to blow up the bridge from far away. It has to be done at close range using grenades and that means loss of life.

Pablo returns, says he threw away the exploder but that he has thought better of it and has brought more men and horses. So Jordan is somewhat willing to forgive him, at least, he doesn't kill Pablo for his treachery. He tells Maria to stay with the horses and he goes with the others to blow up the bridge and attack the two fascist posts.

The bridge is blown up as planned but Anselmo is killed in the explosion. Jordan is miraculously unhurt and there is actually a chance for escape. Pablo comes back from an attack on the fascist post and a small tank has followed him. The group of guerrillas and Jordan try to flee but Jordan's pack horse is shot and falls on him, breaking his leg. He knows he can't escape.

He speaks to Maria for the last time and tells her that he will be with her always. He's not sure if he really believes in an afterlife although at times during the book he speaks about communicating with his grandfather who fought in the Civil War. So he tells her he will be with her wherever she goes and that he is part of her. Then he stays and waits, trying not to pass out, because he plans to take a few more of the fascists with him before he dies. He thinks about all he has learned in the past few days about life and love, and wishes he could pass it along to someone else. He thinks about death and that it is nothing, but he realizes now that dying is a hard thing to do. He scolds himself that he is not doing it well but then he realizes that no one "does it well." And then the fascist troop arrives. We don't see the moment of Jordan's death. The book ends with him just about to shoot the fascist lieutenant and then shoot himself before he can be captured and tortured. So we don't know what might happen. He might succeed or he might pass out and miss his shot and wake up in a fascist prison to be tortured and then killed. All we know is that he has made his peace with death.

The title, For Whom the Bell Tolls, refers to a poem by John Donne that says, "And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." Church bells toll when someone dies and we can tell from the title alone that there will be death in this book, probably the main character's as well as other people. Hemingway shows that Jordan is a hero and a "real man" because even though he knows that he is probably going to die carrying out his mission he persists and does not try to run away from it. He considers himself of no individual importance and his own death does not matter if the cause is served. This is different from Henry who cares only about his small group of ambulance drivers. But Jordan does make an emotional connection with the group of guerrillas that take him in and he does feel regrets about having to give them orders and put them in danger as if they were soldiers he did not know or care about. Still, he does his duty.

Just as in A Farewell to Arms, Jordan's death is foreshadowed several times in the book. Pilar reads his palm and then will not tell him what she sees but later Maria tells him that the reading told Pilar that they would all be killed. His job is to meet it bravely. He does not believe in palm reading or other superstitions just as he does not believe in God (and in fact several people in the book say they do not have God any more because they are now Communists) but it still disturbs him that Pilar predicted his death.

Jordan also enjoys his food and his woman even in the face of impending death. Hemingway shows us that "real men" enjoy what is here and now because death is the end of it all. Jordan is very self-disciplined and carries out his orders without any superior officer needing to stand over him with a gun, and he is focused in his thinking. He relies on his clear, cold head. He shows also that he is very competent and is able to think of an alternate way to blow up the bridge after Pablo steals the exploder.

Hemingway's heroes are able to kill when it is needed but they are not heartless brutes. Pilar describes a terrible scene in a small town where the movement arose and Pablo was the leader of the fight against the fascists. After they were captured the fascists were made to run a sort of gauntlet. Pablo's original intention was to make all the villagers share in the responsibility for these killings but it got out of hand and the villagers became an angry mob that cruelly slaughtered the fascists, whether or not they had done anything wrong personally. This is not clean killing and Hemingway would not be proud of Pablo's actions as he is of Jordan's clean and quick shootings of the fascist sentry.

What I see in this book is that Hemingway is showing us what he feels a real man will do when faced with war, danger, love, and death. It is the way a man lives his life and dies his own particular death that makes him a hero or a coward, and not what others think of him.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

A Farewell to Arms

As a byproduct of a completely insane school assignment Jason has received through his online Freshman Composition course, I am frantically reading three of Hemingway's works in order to help him produce a final paper that was assigned when the students had only a week to produce it. Personally I very much resent the fact that the professor chose to give the students a difficult and complicated task in so short a time. Yes, I know it was a truncated course being completed in only seven weeks instead of a full semester, but in that case I think it behooves the instructor to recognize this fact and not give out an assignment that is nearly impossible for students who after all have other things going on in their lives to complete.

So, I am lending a major hand this time around, and I have just finished reading A Farewell to Arms. For me, not Jason, this assignment may be a blessing in disguise, because I never read this book before. I seem to recall reading something by Hemingway years ago but now I have the opportunity to read three Hemingway novels at breakneck speed.

I did see the movie a few years ago but it did not convey Hemingway's writing style, nor did it give me the opportunity to see behind the words. I have to say I am immensely grateful to Hemingway for forever changing the style in which American (and I daresay international as well) novels are written. I find the novels of the nineteenth century going backwards in time to be cumbersome, overwritten and flowery to the point of being nauseating, with a few exceptions. Hemingway introduced the stripped-down modern lean and mean writing that is so much easier to read and read quickly. In fact, his style is a great help in making it through these novels in so ridiculously short a time.

A Farewell to Arms is a tragic love story set during World War I, in Italy and later in Switzerland. Against the backdrop of the war on the Italian front, the lovers Frederick Henry and Catherine Barkley meet and begin their doomed love affair. At first Henry is a man without direction, and without love for any human being on the planet. He spends his leave time getting drunk and playing with prostitutes in the officers' brothel. He knows this is not a worthy pursuit, and he longs for a more disciplined life. He's different from the other men in that he does not taunt the priest with dirty jokes making reference to the priest's celibacy, but instead admires the part of the country that the priest comes from.

When he first meets Catherine he simply sees her as a better alternative to the prostitutes and tries pretty quickly to seduce her, but she slaps his face. Then she apologizes. So he knows he may get somewhere with his seduction as she does not stay outraged at him for making a pass. At this time Catherine is missing her dead fiance who was killed in the war, and for a short while she engages Henry in a brief fantasy of being that lost love. The first time they declare love to each other they both know they are lying, but it seems to satisfy something in her heart.

For a while Henry has thought that the war "has nothing to do with him" and that he will never be killed in it. He is in charge of a group of ambulance drivers and has not faced much danger yet. That abruptly changes as he is sitting in a dugout enjoying macaroni and cheese and rusty tasting wine with his companions. Before his eyes, one is killed by a shell, and Henry himself is gravely wounded. He's brought to the hospital and Catherine is an assistant nurse so she is able to visit him on the night shift.

Henry realizes he is falling for her and she seems to sense his change in attitude also because she takes to making love with him in his hospital bed. Others at the hospital cover up for her so she won't be found out and dismissed. Henry is sent to Milan for his recuperation and he has a bit of an idyllic time with Catherine, staying up all night to eat, talk and make love, and then sleeping into the morning.

We don't learn much about the history of either of them. Hemingway writes his novel with very spare prose, very spare dialogue. He gives us few details about their former lives other than that Catherine had a fiance who was killed. Henry has relatives in the States but they are apparently not important enough to him to warrant his writing to them on a regular basis. Hemingway's writing is very much attuned to the five senses, showing his audience exactly what they would experience if they were on the scene. His style appears to have come from his background as a journalist. He gives the reader who, what, when, where and how, but he often does not spell out why. Only a few of Henry's internal thoughts and emotions make it to the printed page; we are often left to decide what he must be feeling, even when Catherine dies and he says saying goodbye to her was like saying goodbye to a statue.

Henry returns to the front when his leg wounds have healed but by then the war on the Italian front has taken a turn for the worse. The Italian army is in retreat and his little group of ambulance drivers is broken up by death and by the confusion of the retreat. Loyalty does not extend beyond each unit's little group, which is shown when the engineer sergeant refuses to cut brush so the ambulance can move forward, saying that Henry is not his superior officer and he doesn't have to obey him. Instead he runs and Henry shoots him down without any emotion, and leaves the body behind as he and his men move on. This same callousness comes back to haunt him when he is arrested by the battle police for having become separated from his men, and is almost shot as a "deserter" from his officer's post because he has lost them in the confusion of the retreat. The battle police are just as callous toward the officers they are shooting as he was toward the engineer sergeant he shoots down.

Henry escapes from his captors and runs away to find Catherine. She agrees to go away with him and after one night of lovemaking they learn he is about to be arrested, so they flee by boat to Switzerland. Henry has known for some time that Catherine is pregnant by him, and in fact Catherine's friend, nurse Ferguson, is quite angry at Henry for getting her pregnant. But Catherine is unconventional and plays by her own rules, and she does not care that she is having a child out of wedlock, nor does she press Henry to marry her. In fact at first when he says he wants to marry her she does not wish to, saying she is already his wife (in her own mind). The only time she seems to care is later, near to her delivery time, when she agrees to marry Henry but says she will not marry him while her pregnancy is showing but will wait until after the child is delivered.

In Switzerland they enjoy a happy life together until Catherine's labor begins. Then it all falls apart. She is not able to deliver the baby by natural means and is in such pain that the doctors have supplied her with a gas mask to ease the pangs. A Caesarian is performed and the child is a large, robust-looking male, but he is stillborn. Henry does not seem to even realize this at first but when he learns his son never even took a first breath he seems pretty much unaffected. His only fear is that Catherine may die. And in fact she does.

Although Henry has to be heartbroken, Hemingway keeps the final pages of his book in a strictly realistic and sensory tone. Henry describes his last look at his dead lover as being like saying goodbye to a statue. He doesn't talk to her or openly grieve. Probably he is in shock and is not able to fully react to his loss yet.

Catherine's death is foreshadowed in several places. Ferguson, or Fergy, Catherine's friend, says that people don't get married, they fight or die. She warns Henry that he'd better not get Catherine in trouble and give her a "war baby." Catherine has an irrational fear of the rain and when pressed for her explanation, says that sometimes she sees herself dead in it, or sees her beloved Henry dead. She also mentions to Henry that the doctor has told her to keep the baby small (by not drinking too much beer) because her hips are narrow. When she does die, and Henry leaves the hospital, it is indeed raining.

Death hangs over everyone in this book even as it hangs over all living things. Even though Henry is the most obvious target because he is in the army as an ambulance driver and could easily be killed, it is ironically Catherine who dies in childbirth, in Switzerland where the couple fled in order to be "safe" from the war. But death is everywhere and there is no safe place to escape from death. All people can do is to meet it bravely, and Catherine does. While she is afraid of the rain, when she is really about to die she doesn't cry or get hysterical. She doesn't complain or mourn for what could have been. All she says is that it is a dirty trick.

Hemingway shows some of his own opinions through various personalities in the book. Henry is searching for something better than drunkenness and running around with prostitutes. He admires people who have self-discipline and are brave. He admires competence, doctors and anyone else who knows his job and does it well. He shows that Henry and Catherine do not have much religious feeling even though Catherine gives Henry a St. Anthony medal as he leaves to return to the front, and even though at the last when Catherine is dying Henry prays for her. Instead Catherine worships Henry and says he is her religion. This is similar to Juliet, who was also a doomed lover, saying that Romeo was the "god of her idolatry."

Both Henry and Catherine do not care about abstract ideals. They care about the people who matter to them; Catherine for Henry, and Henry for Catherine as well as his small group of ambulance drivers. Henry isn't a patriot and he doesn't even seem to know why he joined the Italian army (especially since he is American). As soon as his group is destroyed and scattered he has no more loyalty to the army anymore and he runs away to save himself from an unjust execution.

Hemingway was considered to be a part of the "Lost Generation," young people who lost their idealism as a result of the war. So he shows his characters as not caring much about conventional morality or religion but seeking some other set of "clean" values they can make their own. Probably his own experiences in the war, getting badly wounded and also being an ambulance driver in Italy, shaped some of the episodes in A Farewell to Arms.

Hemingway's attitudes to women were probably pretty standard at the time, however. He makes Catherine appear to be the ideal woman. She is beautiful, loving, sensual and heroic. She also puts her man at the center of her universe and promises to be and do whatever he wishes. Several times in the book she refers to herself as a "good girl" when she serves Henry or does as he desires. While Hemingway broke with tradition in a number of ways I think he would be pretty surprised by modern women and their independence.

As for men, Hemingway's manly ideal does what we would call "guy stuff" today. He hunts, fishes, fights, struggles to survive in a difficult world. A number of years ago there was a book written by the title, Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. Hemingway would have related to this. His characters, even Catherine for the most part, say very little about their emotions. There is almost no drawing on their psychological past. This is in keeping with the notion that men do not enjoy talking about their emotions or about relationships, but Hemingway considered this a good thing while today men are criticized by women for "not being in touch with their feelings."

Because of Hemingway's streamlined writing style I was able to read this in one day, but I recommend that the reader take his or her time and appreciate it more slowly than I did.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

"Reason for Hope"

I have just finished reading Jane Goodall's spiritual autobiography, Reason for Hope. I began reading it before we went to see her and hoped to finish it by that time, but I hadn't.

The book reaffirms my feeling that Jane Goodall is a modern saint. Surely Saint Francis of Assisi would be proud of her, and indeed she chronicles an episode where she spoke on his Saint's Day at the annual Blessing of the Animals. What an experience that must have been for the people who brought their pets to be blessed that day!

Her core message is:

Every individual matters
Every individual has a role to play
Every individual makes a difference.

She told many stories in her book, of personal experiences both joyful and painful, that have formed her spiritual core and her relationship to God. But in addition there is something difficult to explain: a compassion that God planted in her heart, that was there long, long before she went to the Gombe to study the chimpanzees.

At the very end of the book she recounts an experience that happened when she was only a year old, yet she can remember it. This in itself is pretty amazing considering that many people cannot remember much of their early lives even up until pre-adolescence. Jane recounted an episode where she was told that a dragonfly could sting and that it had a stinger as big as its tail. This of course terrified the baby girl. So when she was out in her pram and a dragonfly began hovering around her she was frightened and screamed. Someone, thinking to protect her, killed that dragonfly.

Instead of being relieved, Jane Goodall screamed all the way home. She screamed out of horror that this living being was killed, killed on her behalf, which even in her baby mind seemed to make her share in the guilt. She feared that it had died in terrible pain.

This experience seems to have set the course for her whole life. But in fact the sensitivity and the ability to feel compassion even for a frightening insect, was something God put into her heart and it did not grow out of her experience. Rather, her experience was defined by it, where most children would have been relieved that the dragonfly was no longer a threat, and would have completely forgotten what to most would be a trivial experience.

Under that same belief, that dragonflies have a stinger as long as their tails, I once killed a dragonfly. I never felt guilty about it; instead I felt proud of myself. Does that make me lacking in compassion? Should I now stop killing the cockroaches that have invaded my apartment and seem to stick their antennae up and taunt me everywhere?

Well, I am not going to stop stomping the cockroaches, because I do not believe humans can peacefully coexist with them in our houses. They spread disease and contribute to asthma attacks with their droppings. So I am not going to expand my compassion to include the suffering of cockroaches, even though they happen to be fascinating beings that will inhabit the earth long after humans are gone.

However Jane Goodall has inspired me and I want to do something positive in the world with whatever time I have left. I have squandered too much time and energy in a battle that is not improving anyone's lot, not even my own or my family's. I'm going to take down my "Brooklyn Ethics" blog and turn my energies to this one. I'm going to be that one person who makes a difference. Jane Goodall's shadow is a huge one, and she has made a difference that a very few people make in their lifetimes. But as she mentions in her book, it is the unsung heroes who make a great deal of difference as well, just by being who they are and working for good.

So that's my decision for today. Maybe some friends who have enjoyed my blog will be sorry to see it go, but it is not serving my life purpose. It is a distraction and a trip into negativity that hasn't done any good. It's time for it to go. Jane Goodall has reason for hope, and so even in that very disturbing situation at BSEC, I will find a reason for hope. But I will turn my attention elsewhere and I will find a better outlet for my own particular talents.