Age of Majority

Jason turned 18 today and I have to admit I keep thinking of the day he was born. It seems as if he is being born all over again, as a legal adult and also he is moving out of the nest tomorrow, so that's a birth of another kind. Bruce and I have a photo of ourselves outside Beth Israel before I went in to have Jason induced. What an adventure that was! This will be an adventure too. In some ways it is as painful as childbirth. I've been so nervous that I have been tempted to scream out, "Give me drugs!" just like I did the night he was born. That's because the anesthesia wore off right when they were taking me off the table.

This time, of course, it would be tranquilizers and not an epidural.

Just like all the other times when we travel, I will worry excessively, think of every little detail that could possibly go wrong, and freak out over every little thing. And despite my bitching, we'll get there and we'll deliver him safely to his dorm. Then we'll retreat to the town and the hotel and let him start his brand new life on campus.

But for now, I think I'll make the attempt at getting to sleep.

Polar Star by Martin Cruz Smith

I just finished Polar Star which is the sequel to the bestselling Gorky Park. I can see why GP was such a smash hit. Polar Star is compelling also. Actually, the mystery itself kind of lost me but I very much enjoyed the vivid descriptions of life on a Soviet fishing ship, and the several episodes where Arkady Renko feels his life in danger. The walk across the ice from one ship to another is amazing and frightening. What an eerie and unearthly corner of the world Smith evokes. I would never have imagined that salty ocean water would freeze to the extent that it might be possible to walk from one ship to another. Ice floes with polar bears riding around on them, sure, I can imagine that. But this was just amazing.

The characters are well drawn and it was an entertaining book. For some odd reason I wasn't all that excited or impressed when the murderer was exposed. I was more interested in Arkady and whether he would escape with his life.

Now I suppose I'll have to backtrack and read Gorky Park.

"The Pumpkin Eater"

This is one of the few James Mason movies I really didn't care for too much. I wasn't thrilled with "Cold Sweat" either but that was really a Charles Bronson movie and he does nothing for me, absolutely nothing. All he ever does is star in ultraviolent movies. Watching that one was an ordeal.

This one was probably supposed to be more artsy. Anne Bancroft played a woman who seems to like to be perpetually pregnant. She leaves her first husband (presumably) and brings her 5 kids with her to live with husband #2 who stole her out from the first husband's nose. She is happy to be hausfrau and Momma, and really in 1964 when the film was made that was a woman's role anyway, so I don't know why people in the film are critical of her for it.

She finds out that her husband is cheating on her, and wanders through most of the rest of the film looking beautiful but pathetically sad. After a while I was tempted to say, "So what??" After all, he's right, when he says to her at one point that she wasn't a model of fidelity either. Most of the film is about her sufferings. She's lovely, she looks like a Jackie Onassis type in all those early sixties getups, but it got boring watching her sad doe eyes.

As for James Mason, he did a good acting job as always, but the character he portrayed was not simply a bad guy and surely wasn't a sexy bad guy. He was just plain despicable. Her husband was having an affair with his wife so he met her at the zoo, surrounded by all her kids, and told her about it in the ugliest possible way. He also made an insulting play for her apparently meant as revenge on her husband.

I was pleased to have seen the movie but I don't expect to be watching it again. It's too depressing. There were a few scenes that were pretty steamy for 1964, but they weren't enough to make it worth seeing over. This one I would miss.

Weird Dream

Last night I had one of those odd dreams where you don't quite know what time period you are in, or maybe you are somewhere outside of time.

I dreamed I was up at Delhi with Jason but instead of being in a dorm room the room I was in looked more like a summer camp cabin. First I realized we had missed lunch and I was not too concerned about that. I figured we'd go to a local deli (in Delhi..LOL) and pick some sandwiches up.

But then I realized Jason didn't have his suitcases and clothes either. That freaked me out and I called my parents...who have been deceased for years...on my cell phone, and demanded to know why they drove home without taking Jason's stuff out of the car. I wanted them to come back up and bring the suitcases, even though they had just gotten home.

The strange thing about this dream was that I didn't seem to know what era it was, and I seemed to think of myself as Jason's sibling rather than his mother. Sometimes I do wish I were going to college again, living on campus at law school was a great time in my life. Independence without responsibility, what's not to like? I think to an extent I envy him for being ready to go off to college and find himself.

As for the rest of it, I have all kinds of worries about getting his stuff up to school, and I wish we did have a car like my parents did. At least they just loaded up the car and drove up to Buffalo. But, I think it will all work out some way or another. It's just a high stress time. Once we get past that, we'll all adjust to it and probably enjoy the change. I know Jason is very excited about college and I am excited about having more freedom. So, bring it on...ready or not, here we come!

First Meeting of the "New Society"

Rick Blaine: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.

That's how I feel about the heart and soul of BSEC. We lost it for two years while it was taken over by people who came in determined not to trust or listen to us no matter what we said or did.

Last night we got it back.

Not the building...we may never meet in that building again, for all I know. But we got back the feelings we used to have when we put our energies together to work toward a goal and went for it, without the obstacles that were put in our way for the past two years. We got back the feeling of being trusted, of being heard. We could put our thoughts together and come up with ideas and plans and not have some suspicious person continually accusing us of wrongdoing and undermining our efforts.

It was wonderful to sit in a circle of friends again and feel that respect and trust, and the willingness of people to start something new and build it up rather than watch helplessly as the BSEC we knew is torn apart.

I felt like we were all midwives, birthing a newborn organization. And in fact we were. The baby hasn't got a name yet, and doesn't know what it will be when it grows up. But it was born last night and has about 20 loving and caring parents standing ready to nurture its growth. What an excellent start.

We've already got 3 reflections groups planned and a second planning meeting for September. I've volunteered for a task force and at least one of the committees. Looks to me like we are ready!

"Lady Possessed"

Tonight I watched the James Mason movie, "Lady Possessed." It wasn't his best, but I still enjoyed watching it. In this film, Mason played a pianist whose wife died after he removed her from the hospital against doctors' orders. At the same time, a woman who lost her baby was wheeled out into the corridor and absorbed what was happening in her semi-conscious state.

Then, to get over her depression, she and her husband rent a house in the country (it's called a cottage but it is pretty big for a cottage!) and it turns out to be the one that belonged to the De Palma family (Mason played Jimmy De Palma). So this woman begins to imagine that the spirit of the dead woman is inhabiting her. She wears some of the dead woman's clothes that are still in the cottage, dyes her hair dark to look more like her, and develops an obsession for Jimmy DePalma.

He is disillusioned and furious with her when he realizes that she knew things about his dead wife because she was living in the cottage and not because his wife was communicating with him. She tries to throw herself under a train like Anna Karenina but her husband stops her, and it seems that at that moment the peculiar delusion she was under is broken.

I always enjoy seeing a Mason film although this one was not my favorite. For psychological issues I much prefer his role in "The Seventh Veil." Still I was glad to have a chance to see this film, I am filling in the gaps of the ones I have missed.

"This is All I Ask"

I've just finished reading This Is All I Ask by Lynn Kurland. For a romance fan, this book was pure gold. It's set in the Middle Ages, another tale of an arranged marriage that turns into a passionate and lasting love. The twist here

Warning: Spoiler ahead








is that the hero is blind. His bride is terrified of him at first, because of his reputation and because of the violence she has learned to expect of men, but soon she realizes that he is a kind man and not at all the demon his reputation would have him.

The two of them don't seem to believe they are worthy of love. Christopher is convinced no woman could want him because of his blindness, and Gillian is convinced she is ugly and worthless. But they learn together and finally realize they can love and be loved.

It follows the formula; the obstacles, the misunderstandings and of course the heinous villain show up on schedule. But Kurland manages to keep the tale fresh and the characters sympathetic, even as they progress through the standard lovers' journey. It may be formulaic but it was still a delightful read. I recommend this book to fans of historical romance.

Mom's Egg Creams

I've had another article, "Mom's Egg Creams," accepted for publication in "Good Old Days" magazine. I received the contract on Saturday. It arrived under the name of some publishing company and I almost threw it out by mistake because I didn't recognize what it was. At first I thought it was another of those vanity press outfits trying to make a quick buck off of my desire to get published.

Then I opened it up and saw that it was a contract and I was being offered $20 for the article, which will appear in the March 2008 issue, if all goes as planned. Naturally I immediately signed the contract and forwarded two photos, one of myself in 1967, and one of Mom taken in the early 1960's. Fortuitously, she's working in the kitchen at our Sedgwick Avenue apartment where she concocted a lot of the egg creams I described in the article.

We had dinner with David and a new friend, Ellen, on Saturday night. Actually Bruce has known her for a long time because she belonged to a singles group he was in back in the seventies I believe. We ran into her at a business seminar at the Brooklyn Business Library the day Jason graduated high school and I have gotten together with her a few times since then.

Anyhow I was able to tell David that he will be mentioned in the article (provided they don't edit it out) because he was the one who tipped me off that Mom was sneaking raw eggs into my egg creams. It's amazing how our view of certain foods has changed, and now eggs are suspect. But forty years ago they were considered such an excellent food that kids who hated them (as I did) were forced to eat them practically at gunpoint.

I do have to say I was amused when I learned that brains, which I always found revolting and refused to eat, have been found to contain huge amounts of cholesterol. Maybe my childhood tastes in food as a child weren't so unhealthy after all.

Wait a second, that would mean that dumping a cup of sugar into a bowl of cold cereal, or half a cup of Fox's U Bet into my chocolate milk was healthy, too. I give it up. My tastes were my tastes. Some were healthy and others were downright horrendous.

Anyhow, I'm excited about another publication and it's inspired me to start taking my writing seriously again.

The New York Transit Museum

On Tuesday I took Jason to the Transit Museum. We hadn't been there in a number of years and he asked to see it once more before he leaves for college.

The Museum has changed some in the intervening years and Jason was very pleased with the changes. We saw an exhibit on how the tunnels and stations were built. What a massive undertaking that was! There was a timeline for the transit system, beginning with horse-drawn trolleys. I didn't realize that it was the condition of those poor overworked horses that caused the founding of the ASPCA.

I also hadn't known that in the 1850's, an African-American woman who was put off a trolley sued for her civil rights and won! She was 100 years before Rosa Parks but her name has been forgotten. I remember her last name was Jennings but I, too, have forgotten her first name.

There was a new exhibit on bus fumes and the fuels they use, and how to upgrade them so that they will do less damage to the environment. I also liked the collages on display, all geared to life in the subways. The "Beep Beep! Toys that Go" exhibit, on loan from the Toy and Doll museum, was cute also. Some of the toys were from the 70's and I recall seeing kids playing with them. Others dated back 150 years or more.

We finished up with a look at the old fashioned subway cars. It's amazing that I still remember riding some trains with the woven straw seats. Of course by that time they were frayed and bits of straw poked you in the backside when you sat on them. The old advertisements were a hoot and Jason took a number of pictures of them. I was amazed to see an ad for the Kingsbridge Armory, which I grew up near. I never knew it was enough of an attraction to be advertised on the subways.

It was a satisfying visit, and we finished up with lunch at a salad bar that charged $4.99 a pound. For the Court Street area that seemed very reasonable to me!

What's Wrong With August?

Every year on August first I have a miniature bout of depression. In July, the summer is just beginning, and it seems to stretch out endlessly before us. The sky is bright blue, the flowers are blooming, birds, butterflies and fireflies are everywhere.

In July, we have Independence Day, lots of barbecues, parades, fireworks and other celebrations. There's even Bastille Day if one feels like celebrating all over again with the French. But August seems to be a celebratory wasteland. There's nothing worth a day off from work let alone throwing a barbecue.

When the calendar turns to August, I'm reminded that the summer will end soon. I do like the beginning of fall but I dread winter ice and snow, so the end of summer isn't a thought I relish. Even though it is hot and humid and I feel as if I'm melting, I prefer to keep the summer going as long as possible.

Then when we get to September, I'm happier again. With the start of the school year it seems as if there is a new opportunity to learn. The beginning of fall is upon us then and I can appreciate the colorful leaves and more comfortable weather. So it's strange that I have this attitude about August, the second month of summer. After all, without it, summer would only last one month and be gone even sooner.

Maybe I need to reevaluate August and find some days to celebrate. Here are some little-known August holidays:

Daily:

1 National Raspberry Cream Pie Day

2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day

3 National Watermelon Day

4 U.S. Coast Guard Day

5 Friendship Day - First Sunday in August

5 International Forgiveness Day - First Sunday in August

5 National Mustard Day

5 Work Like a Dog Day

5 Sisters Day - First Sunday in August

6 Wiggle Your Toes Day

7 National Lighthouse Day

8 Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day - now that's nasty!

9 Book Lover's Day

10 Lazy Day

10 National S'mores Day

11 Presidential Joke Day

11 Son and Daughter Day

12 Middle Child's Day

13 Left Hander's Day

14 National Creamsicle Day

14/15 V-J Day - which dare do you mark the end of WWII?

15 Relaxation Day - now this one's for me!

16 National Tell a Joke Day

17 National Thriftshop Day

18 Bad Poetry Day

19 Aviation Day

19 Chinese Valentine's Day/Daughter's Day - 7th day of 7th Lunar Month

20 National Radio Day

21 Senior Citizen's Day

22 Be an Angel Day

22 National Tooth Fairy Day - and/or February 28

23 Ride the Wind Day

24 Vesuvius Day

25 Kiss and Make Up Day

26 National Dog Day

26 Women's Equality Day

27 Global Forgiveness Day

27 Just Because Day

28 Race Your Mouse Day -but we are not sure what kind of "mouse"

29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day

30 Frankenstein Day

30 Toasted Marshmallow Day

31 National Trail Mix Day

I could get to appreciate Book Lovers Day on August 9th, Left Handers Day on the 13th, and several others. I guess I will have to rethink my dislike of August and find some ways to celebrate these strange little holidays.

After the Gym

She walked out of Lucille Roberts behind me. Her hair was frosted, her skin was sun kissed and tawny. She could have been the Coppertone girl. She wore a simple white dress with blue and brown dots. It was sleeveless and had a full skirt, very relaxed and elegant. She was the picture of healthy, vital youth. And then she lit a cigarette.

Why? Why would she be smoking right after working out? Is it all just about beauty for her, and nothing to do with health? That must be it.