My Mom, Rae Kraut 1916-1995

My mother was born in 1916 to Greek Jewish immigrants from the town of Janina. She was born in the U.S. though my eldest uncle was born in Greece and my eldest aunt was born on the ship en route to America (I shudder to imagine that childbirth scene).

Even though she was just a toddler in 1918 Mom remembered the maimed soldiers returning from World War I. For the rest of her life she disliked parades and got teary eyed when she heard a marching band.

When Mom was 13 the Great Depression hit. My grandfather was something of an aristocrat in Greece, but he invested in a florist business here and lost his business and his money when the crash came. Mom remembered not having a nickel for an Eskimo pie. She graduated high school while the country was still in the throes of the Depression, and tried to attend college. But her boss, just like the ones that are exploiting this second depression today, kept her overtime on a constant basis so that she missed her classes and had to drop out. Imagine if she'd been able to finish and become an accountant. She became a bookkeeper instead.

Her heart was always with the workers and she went out on strike in the 1930's. I'm proud to say Mom was a "union maid."

Mom married for the first time to a man named Jack Dash, and became a mother for the first time to my brother Sandy. Sadly, Jack had a rare circulatory disorder and passed away quite young. She remarried to my father, Lou Kraut, and they had me about a year later.

My birth was hard on Mom. I was six weeks premature and they kept me in an incubator for five weeks. When I was first born at 2.5 pounds a callous nurse told Mom, "You can have another baby," if I didn't make it. Mom became distraught and I hope that nurse was replaced!

Mom was loving and tough at the same time. She had strong principles and would not tolerate breaking them. Friends described her as an iron fist in a velvet glove because she would not back down on a matter of principle. She was a staunch Democrat and argued with my father when he voted for Mayor Lindsay on the Republican ticket. Mom voted for Lindsay but she would never vote Republican; instead she voted for him on the Liberal ticket to send him a message about the kind of mayor she wanted him to be.

I gave her a hard time during my adolescence in the late sixties and early seventies. She was critical of many things but agreed on politics and she marched with me at at least one anti-war march. She took my aunts and uncles to task for supporting Nixon.

Mom also had strong feelings about Israel and anti-semitism and she became Vice President of our building's B'nai B'rith chapter, in charge of the liaison to the Anti-Defamation League. She was nervous about speaking in public but when she had to, she spoke out.

Mom's four grandchildren from Sandy and one from me were her constant joy. Sadly, in her late sixties, she developed Parkinson's Disease and possibly Alzheimer's also. Finally we had to move her out of her Bronx apartment and into a nursing home in Brooklyn. She fought hard to get Russian Jews out of Russia and I told her in one of her more lucid moments that she was living among the people she helped to rescue.

The day she died, I went to visit her. I hadn't been there in about two weeks because I had a summer cold and anyone with an infectious disease was forbidden to visit. Finally I was better and I went to see her. She asked after the family and was reassured that everyone was well. Her eyes looked different and she said she couldn't see. Although I was in denial and told the nurses I wanted to arrange a birthday party for her (she would have been 79 nine days later), something told me I would not see her again, and I made sure to say, "I love you," before I left.

Mom valued education and pushed me to go not just to college but also to graduate school. She was fierce in her activism when she saw injustice. I have adopted her values (with some minor modifications) and owe a great deal to the teachings she gave me with her words and example.

I love you, Mom. Happy Mother's Day, wherever you are.

n

Letter to the Daily News About Police Commissioner Kelly

I am appalled at the recent editorial encouraging Police Commissioner Ray Kelly to run for Mayor of NYC. Under his watch, thousands of young men of color have been stopped and frisked without any reason to suspect them of wrongdoing. Kelly is also responsible for the anti-Muslim film that police officers watched. Also under his watch NYPD officers carried out unconstitutional spying on Muslims simply because of their religious affiliation, spying that went into areas of New Jersey where the NYPD has no jurisdiction.

Commissioner Kelly has not reined in his underlings from the vicious and brutal beatings and unwarranted arrests of thousands of peaceful demonstrators. In fact it is all too obvious that the orders to mistreat protesters have to be coming from above. Kelly is therefore responsible for the cruel treatment of Occupiers and other protesters and the violation of their 1st, 4th, 5th and 6th Amendment rights. He is head of the NYPD and the buck stops with him. He is in no way qualified to be Mayor of New York City. Stop any and all promoting of him for this office. The man shouldn't be elected dog catcher.

Kent State Memories

In May 1970 I was 15 years old and a junior at the Bronx High School of Science. I opposed the Vietnam War and went to demonstrations with my friends Janet and Susan on a regular basis.

When we heard about the shootings at Kent State the students exploded. I remember kids jumping out the first floor windows (just a few feet off the ground) at Science to leave school and go to the demonstrations. We all felt the bullets weren't just aimed at the 4 dead and 9 injured, but they were aimed at all of us. Everyone who opposed the war, everyone who wore a peace button, long hair, bell bottom jeans, we were all the target.

A demonstration was called in front of the Army-Navy recruiting station at Fordham Road and the Grand Concourse in the Bronx. Susan and I marched there with the other kids and we set up a picket line, circling the traffic island in front of the recruiting station. After a while we got hungry and left our school books on the traffic island while we went to a nearby park to eat lunch. In those days you could do that without worrying that someone would steal your stuff!

When we got back, we were stopped by members of the Tactical Police Force, the riot squad, or as we knew them, the boys in the baby blue helmets. Today's riot squads wear black helmets and are practically encased in armor. Baby blue helmets were prettier but we still knew these men were not your friendly neighborhood cops.

They refused to let us back into the demonstration. We told them we just wanted to get our books back. "Then you should have gone to school today," one of them sneered. Finally they agreed to let Susan retrieve all our books but kept me as a hostage to ensure that she didn't rejoin the picket line. This was, of course, a violation of our rights, but we were in no position to argue. There were no legal observers, just high school kids marching in a circle and chanting. The TPF could have done anything they wanted. As I stood there waiting for Susan to come back with my books, one TPF turned to another and remarked, "Think we'll get to crack any heads today?"

I was terrified, praying for Susan to come back quickly! When she did get back, we knew it was useless to try to get back into the march, so we went home.

I wouldn't be surprised if those boys in baby blue helmets were the daddies of some of the most abusive cops attacking Occupiers today.

Catching Up to 2012!

It's hard to believe I let this blog go by the wayside for almost exactly two years. I'll have to blame some of it on Facebook and Twitter, which take up altogether too much of my time. There's no way I can catch up two years in one or two blog posts but here are the bare bones.

Bruce found four jobs after his initial layoff from National Envelope. He also worked for the Census in 2010, beginning shortly after I put up my last 2010 post. Now he's been laid off again. This time he's within about 20 months of early retirement, so while we hope he finds work, it's not the complete disaster it was three years ago.


Jason has his Associate's degree from Borough of Manhattan Community College. He's out of school at the moment and looking for work. It's not exactly easy in today's insane economy.

I found a part time job with health benefits in July 2010. I'd been writing grant proposals for Youth Pride Chorus since October 2009 on a very part time basis, and in the summer of 2010 their Development Associate quit to become a student teacher. Now I raise funds for Youth Pride Chorus and the New York City Gay Men's Chorus. Can I say, "I love my job!" Because I do.

Last summer I started up a small home business making pinback buttons. We named it Celestial Buttons (after my name, of course, no angels involved). We sell political and other buttons, with a distinctly left leaning flavor. I'm a leftie, after all. We also would like to do children's parties where kids can create their own design and we'll make it into a customized button. Here's the link: www.celestialbuttons.com.

That's where we are professionally. Our free time activities have changed as well. Two years ago we were both on the board and deeply involved in the Brooklyn Humanist Community. Over time the group evolved away from any interest in action and preferred to remain a social group in nature. In its place we have joined another small group, Politics for a Human Community, which has its own meetup at www.meetup.com/NYC-PHC. and a Facebook page as well. Bruce and I have gotten involved with several other groups as well.

I'm still dedicated to the causes I listed in 2009, with the addition of getting corporate money out of politics. Citizens United was a horrible, wrongheaded decision allowing the wealthiest people and corporations to buy politicians and buy our elections, and we have to overturn it. So we are working on that as well.

It's good to be back.

Ten Cheap Ideas for Family Summer Fun

Ten Cheap Ideas for Family Summer Fun

By Celeste Leibowitz

The school bell has rung for the last time, and the kids have burst outside, waving their report cards and singing, “No more pencils, no more books!”

Now what? It may be time to roll out those “lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer,” but how can you keep the family occupied without spending a bundle? Here are some suggestions for families with at least one stay at home parent (SAHP).

1. Start a co-op day camp: If you’ve got a babysitting co-op going to save on child care costs, you may have the makings of a co-op day camp. To get this going, round up four other committed families. Commitment is important, because if one family drops out, the structure falls apart.

Each family is responsible for two days each week. One family takes the lead role each weekday, with the second family acting as backup. This gives each family three weekdays completely free to pursue errands, relaxation, or keep up with the demands of a home based business. If the families can afford to chip in a little money, and a couple of families have teenagers, hire them to assist with the day’s activities, and give every family four days off instead.

Plan ahead for activities, and play to each parent’s individual talents. Have you got a musician, an artist or artisan in your group? How about a green thumb, a bird watcher or photographer, a dancer, an athlete? Who’s got a swimming pool, or a big back yard with lots of play equipment?

Each day should be different. One day the kids can bake cookies, the next day learn square dancing. Remember to plan alternate activities for those boring rainy days! Ask older children to keep a record of the camp fun, with photos and scrapbooks. At the close of the season, throw a potluck party or barbecue, and have the kids put on a talent show to demonstrate what they have learned.

2. Free programs for kids: Keep up with free activities offered during the summer. In some towns, the public schools operate free day camps and offer free breakfast and lunch for school-age children during the summertime. Libraries run summer reading programs with a kickoff event and a closing party for children who read the required number of books. There may also be arts and crafts programs, movies and free music offered at the library, along with the free books and films you can check out to enjoy at home. Investigate the playgrounds and parks; there are often free programs such as nature walks, storytelling, and sports events for youngsters.

3. A day at the beach: If you are near the seashore or a major lake with a beachfront, you’ve got hours and hours of cheap entertainment at your disposal. Take the kids swimming (only if there is a lifeguard, please!), and let them play for hours in the sand. Hunt for seashells, driftwood and “beach glass” that has been worn down to rounded edges. Bring home your finds and create arts and crafts projects as souvenirs. Help the youngsters to build a magnificent sand castle or other sand sculptures. For instructions, take a look at websites such as http://www.missico.com/personal/kids/sand_sculpture.htm. You don’t need fancy, expensive tools or equipment to make a sandcastle; utensils from your kitchen or garden will work just fine.

What to bring to the beach:
 Sunscreen with a SPF of 45 or better for babies and children (adults, use it too!)
 A blanket and lightweight beach chairs
 Sunglasses for everyone, swimsuits and towels
 Caps
 Picnic lunch and water
 Flipflops or water shoes for walking on blazing hot sand
 Toys: pails, shovels, funnels, spoons and forks, an old sifter


4. Free outdoor concerts and performances: Summertime is the best time for free music. Check online and in local papers, and find out when outdoor concerts, dance performances and even free or inexpensive circuses are in town. Bring a blanket or folding chairs and your picnic dinner, and dance while the stars come out. Some concerts even feature a fireworks finale.


5. Go birding: Bring a pair of inexpensive binoculars and bird guide (Half.com has lots of them), and watch the birds. Some parks have bird-watching groups that assemble in the early mornings. Note migrations and keep track of the species you spot. If the birds are close enough, take photos.

Do you live in an area with lots of pigeons? If so, the kids can take part in a scientific study, Project Pigeon watch. For more information, go to http://www.birds.cornell.edu/pigeonwatch/GettingStarted/kit and download a free Pigeon Watch starter kit. It’s fun, it’s educational, and it costs you nothing.

6. Gone fishing: Have you got a fishing rod and tackle sitting around the house? Or maybe you fish on a regular basis. Bring the kids, but be sure to observe the local fishing laws and regulations. Look them up online before you go, or the fine may ruin your frugal fun!


7. Hikes and bike trails: If you live near a state or national park, hikes and nature walks are readily available. For safety, bikers should wear a properly fitting helmet. Bring enough food and water, and put together your own “trail mix” of nuts, dried fruits and chocolate bits (M & M’s work well). You can find bicycle lanes on many streets and in the parks. Have fun, get some exercise, and enjoy the greenery as you march or ride along.

8. Parades and street fairs: Summer is also time for parades and street festivals. Street festivals are great fun, with free music and entertainment. They’re also a good way to learn about services and organizations in your hometown, because many groups rent a table and distribute their literature along with free samples and goody bags. One thing to watch out for at street festivals is the tendency to spend too much money on flea market items or exotic foods (shish kebabs, mango roses, frothy fruit drinks). Pack a lunch and stick to one food or drink item you can’t get on an everyday basis.

Parades provide great summer entertainment. Arrive early to get the best view, and bring that camera. Many towns have an Independence Day parade, but there are also plenty of unusual themes in towns and cities across the nation. New York City has the Coney Island Mermaid Parade on the first Saturday of summer, and a number of communities hold Pet Parades with costumes and prizes for the best-dressed pets.

9. Art shows: If your town has an art society or a camera club, summer is the time for outdoor art shows. The artwork itself can be pricey, so treat it as a museum exhibit and just look. Have the kids bring sketchbooks, pencils or markers, and make their own renditions of their favorites. Maybe one year their own entries will be in the show.

10. Explore your town’s history. Who founded your town, and when? What sort of people settled there? What was everyday life like a century, two centuries, and three centuries ago? Are your streets named for famous people? Learn the town’s folklore and legends. Are there any special “holidays” your town commemorates that no one else knows about? Celebrate them!

These are just a few of the many ways to enjoy summertime, keep the kids occupied and happy, and keep your budget on track at the same time. Happy summer solstice, everyone!

New Year's Goals

It looks like I haven't given up completely. It's 2010, finally, and I am hoping things will be looking up. 2009 was not kind to us. Bruce lost his job because his plant closed down. After over 30 years in the envelope industry he had to search for something new in a new industry.

He's finally found something. It's a big step back financially, and there are no benefits. But we're considering it an internship, and hoping that if he proves his worth by September, when our COBRA discount is about to run out, they might be willing to work something out so he can have decent benefits for the family and be able to continue on there.

So the first big goal for 2010 is to get back on our feet financially and at least get back to where we were before the plant closing and the layoff.

My personal goal is to find a full time job with benefits, or else to raise my consulting rates to the point where I can afford to pay for benefits for the family.

Another goal is to continue fighting for healthcare for all Americans. We need Medicare for everyone, and any spare time I have I'd like to devote to this cause.

Jason's goals for this year are a part time job, achieving his A.A. degree, and starting towards his B.A. in the fall.

We're ready to take on 2010, but I certainly hope it will be a kinder year for everyone. I'm sure glad to see the back of 2009.

Should Dreamscapes Retire?

I'm thinking about hanging this blog up and going for one that's more targeted. While I won't erase it, it's got some great memories recorded, I may grab some old posts and move them into a new, improved blog.

It's time to come up with a new title, a real focus, and a way to get some attention through social networking. Posting every six weeks or thereabouts is not going to get this blog noticed.

Some of my areas of expertise and/or interest are:

Frugal living (isn't everyone these days?)
Changing careers & job hunting
Grant writing
Causes: LGBT rights, especially youth
Health Care reform
I'm interested also in books and read a great deal, also in animal protection, human rights and other topics. What to choose??
That's going to be my question to ponder for the time being.

How to Conduct An Interview

Recruiters, take heed. There are millions of job seekers out there, and we’re comparing notes.

Sure, the economy is supposedly recovering, but meanwhile job losses continue and the official unemployment rate is climbing towards 10 percent. That means work for you is down too, and many recruiters have received pink slips. At one recruiting agency for nonprofit organizations, every time I call, I hear another staff person has left.

So for those of you who remain standing through all this chaos, it’s imperative that you do your job well. This includes treating potential recruits with respect.

We may be a dime a dozen, but we’ve got more than one avenue for job hunting. We’ve studied up on the job market and we know which fields are in demand. Some of us have taken courses on writing better resumes and cover letters. Because this is the worst period of unemployment and general economic shakiness since the Great Depression, we’ve prepared ourselves for the job market as never before.

So please, don’t give us unsolicited advice about fixing up our resumes. If we’re having trouble getting interviews, we’ll ask for help. Don’t take it on yourselves to reformat or rewrite our resumes. One recruiter insisted my resume had to fit onto one page, and left out important information about my most recent positions in order to make it fit. Others drop the font until you’d need a microscope to read it. It’s a resume, not a Procrustean bed, folks!

An interview should help the recruiter elicit a candidate’s experience and positive traits. Ask the right questions to get these answers. Nit-picking at the resume and asking why we left our last three positions may be relevant, but if you fail to balance these questions with questions such as, “Describe your greatest achievement,” “What do you like most about (occupation),” or “How would you deal with this situation…” you’re not letting us put our best feet forward. That’s a loss to you, and a loss to the organization on whose behalf you are interviewing candidates. By being too zealous about making the candidate justify her years as a stay-at-home Mom, or questioning every achievement as if you are conducting a cross-examination with a hostile witness, you’re letting the good ones slip away under your radar.

Please don’t tell an older candidate to drop his college graduation date off the resume. We’ve read the pros and cons, and the decision to leave it in and face possible ageism is not an oversight. You aren’t the expert on his job search: he is. His next prospective employer could interpret the lack of a graduation date as evasiveness about his age or even put his claim to a degree in doubt.

In short, the more respectful and friendly you are, the more you establish rapport with a candidate rather than creating a back-room interrogation atmosphere, the better you’ll be able to elicit the candidate’s best examples of her skills and experience. Try this approach and you’ll find more potential employees for your clients. The bottom line? That’s more money in your pocket.

And remember, what goes around comes around. Treat us with respect, and we’ll keep in touch. When that pink slip comes your way, one of your former recruits might just point you towards your next position.

A Song for Healthcare Reform

This is roughly to the tune of Meat Loaf's "Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth." Unfortunately my singing voice frightens the horses. I'm hoping someone who can play an instrument and sing might adopt this and use it at rallies.

The doctor said you needed a new operation
Well the doctor said you needed a pill
The insurance man said, No, you can't have that
Stay healthy or just go to hell!

The doctor said, without this treatment you're dead
There was nothing else they could do
So we sold off our house and we sold off our stuff
Almost sold off our firstborn too
Then we lost our jobs, no more insurance
Everything we worked for was gone
The emergency doctor said, we'll take care of you
But you didn't get here fast enough
You died in the ER, you died in the ER,
The insurance man laughed and said, Tough!

We gotta break their power, we gotta take back our lives
We gotta make the US join the first world
We gotta have single payer
Before we're all dead
Pass the public plan today, single payer tomorrow
Fight on for the people, fight on for the people, win it, win it now for Ted!

I've posted this on Facebook and sent it to Moveon.org. I hope it will be useful, because protest songs can really get people going. That's my contribution to the movement!

Health Care Rally in Times Square

Bruce and I attended the rally for Healthcare Reform in Times Square this afternoon. I think there were more than the 1,000 people the media is reporting, but anyhow, we were a lively and spirited crowd. Bruce and I were right near the barricades, so we held our signs up facing the passing cars. Taxi drivers were especially happy to see us and honked their horns, even jumping out of their cabs at the red lights to take some of our flyers. Most of the tourists on the double decker buses seemed to support us also.

I'm convinced that more people support the public option and even single payer health care than the media is reporting. It's just that we may not be as vocal as we need to be. It's hard to get people to turn out to demonstrations, especially on a day where it rained in the morning. But I wore my poncho and went, rain or shine.

There was lots of positive energy at this rally and I hope we can continue to build on this energy and create a groundswell.

"Be Careful With My Heart," POP Arts at Hetrick-Martin

After our visit to the Zoo, we headed into Greenwich Village to see a POP Arts show at The Hetrick-Martin Institute. POP Arts stands for Peers Outreaching to Peers, and the program educates young people about safe sex, STI and HIV prevention, and facts about STI's and HIV/AIDS. They also learn acting techniques and scriptwriting, and together they write their own play to inform other youths about what they have learned.

This year's show was a stunner. Called, "Be Careful With My Heart," it portrayed just about every kind of relationship: straight, gay, lesbian, and bisexual. Kids of various orientations attended a party where couples went off to bedrooms together, and heavy consequences resulted. There were breakups, there was risky sex, heartbreak and betrayal. Yet there was also a lot of built-in comedy so that the show was anything but grim.

One young woman sang a beautiful song, and there was a hot and humorous dance number. This is a talented bunch of young people coming to terms with different sexuality and with the hormonal ups and downs of horny teenagers. After the show, the performers answered questions from the audience. Many people were so touched that happy tears were shed. It was truly a moving and educational performance.

I was particularly struck by the dilemma one young woman faces. She is Muslim, and their tolerance of gays and lesbians is slim to none. I had to admire her courage in coming to Hetrick-Martin and taking part in this show, and I hope it will not blow up in her face if her father ever finds out what the show was all about.

Hetrick-Martin accomplishes so much with kids who would otherwise fall by the wayside. I'm proud to be associated with this great organization.

Thursday at the Zoo

We visited the Bronx Zoo to celebrate Jason's 20th birthday. Thanks to his summer job, he was able to get all of us in for free and get us a 30% discount on lunch as well.

The animals were great. I enjoyed seeing many baby animals: a little lemur named "Cupid" because he was born on Valentine's Day, a baby giraffe, and a baby flamingo. Peacocks roam the Zoo grounds at will, and we got up close and personal with a peahen and her adorable chick. It's always fun to visit the zoo and learn some new facts about the animals there.

Don't Believe the Scare Stories

It amazes me that people are believing the Republicans and the big insurance companies who are bending over backwards to stop a public health care option. They're shaking in their shoes believing that the government is going to decide who lives and who dies.

Guess what, people, wake up! Right now that's exactly what the insurance companies are doing. Not to mention the people who don't have insurance coverage, either because they are out of work (realistically, close to 20% of us when you count the underemployed and those who have given up) or because their employers simply don't choose to provide it. They're skipping doctor visits and taking half doses of needed medication. And guess what else, our infant mortality rates are the highest and our life expectancy rates are the lowest, in the industrialized world.

Even if you have insurance coverage, a layoff will do away with it. And even if you have insurance coverage, your necessary treatment could well be denied, even though it could save your life. So who is deciding whether you live or die? Not your doctor, that's for sure.

Back in the sixties, a cousin of mine was having a terrible struggle to have a healthy child. She had one miscarriage after another. Nobody's fault, right?

Wrong. She and her husband moved to the Netherlands so he could take a job there and complete a Ph.D. The Netherlands happen to have -- gasp -- socialized medicine. My cousin was placed on complete hospital bedrest for months of her pregnancies, and gave birth to three healthy children who are now young adults. Not one of them would have been born in the US where months of hospitalization would have been prohibitively expensive. I don't even think anyone suggested it to her as an option, here in the good old USA, best damn country in the world...except when it comes to taking care of our people.

Sure, there will have to be cuts, so how about if we cut down on unnecessary tests and on unnecessary procedures? Why does the U.S. have a disproportionately high number of caesarian section births? How about cutting back on that and having more natural childbirths? We can certainly trim expenses without harming anybody.

It's time to stop listening to the lies of greedy people who would rather snap up your money and let you die in a ditch, than see you cared for at the government's expense. It's time to insist that we catch up to the civilized world and take care of all our people...rich, poor or middle class, from the cradle to the grave, no exceptions.

Leaving a Bad Situation

Consulting has a glamorous ring to it, but there's a down side as well. It's not steady work, and you sometimes have to be very aggressive in collecting your fees. Then there are the situations that should never arise.

I made the mistake of accepting a consulting position with an organization that had very little money. I knew they had almost nothing in advance, because I looked up their 990. But they promised me 15 to 20 hours of work a week, and I gave them a discount because they are a small organization.

That won't happen again. From now on, I will insist on being paid what I am worth; otherwise they can take their business elsewhere.

I also agreed to give them 15 hours of pro bono time to "get acclimated." If I had known that they were not going to stick with their original agreement, this also would never have happened. I certainly will not ever do it again.

All along, I was having constant conflict with the Executive Director, Z. Every time I asked a question she would throw some papers at me and tell me I had all that I needed, she needed to get her work done and I had to be a "big girl" and become independent. This is not the way to get a new consultant off to a good start. She also wanted to throw a number of proposals out the door, on the advice of a consultant with many years of experience.

When I investigated the targeted foundations, I found that almost all of them were a waste of time (and money). Most did not actually give to their cause. Some did but gave only out of state. Others had suspended grants because they were suffering as a result of the economic downturn. In fact, only one or two were viable choices, out of twelve. However, I continued to receive pressure to "tweak" the template proposal, a general operating support proposal that was requesting a huge amount of money to completely staff this tiny little volunteer organization, and shove it out the door.

Knowing this would not bring them any money, I was reluctant to follow through. I also received continual comments on just about everything, even whether I walked fast enough for Z., who claimed she had become a "real New Yorker" because she zips down the street at top speed.

Finally, I saw that the first week I was "on the clock," I actually was given only 8 hours of work, and when I asked where my 15-20 hours were, Z. told me that she could not afford to pay me for more than 5 hours a week because they "have no money."

Didn't they know that when they hired me?

I told her she really can't afford me, and should hire a student intern to do the work. A student would not be able to do the same quality of work, but since the organization seemed focused on quantity rather than quality, that shouldn't matter. Z. countered by asking if I were willing to take a reduction in my hourly rate so that she could give me more hours.

Wrong!

On Thursday I gave her my invoice for the 8 hours of work and quit. We had some harsh words; she is volatile and makes personal attacks. However, when she calmed down I suggested that she close down the organization and turn it into a program within some other, better funded nonprofit.

In any case, next time, I will not accept an assignment from an organization that has a tiny budget, especially one that has been incorporated for 8 years and is still not solvent. I'll know, next time, that there's a reason they have not been successful, and that I'm not going to be the one to pull them out of the morass they have made for themselves.

Salute to Pregnancy

The New York Metro published a photo of pregnant women walking the bases at Keyspan Park, home of the Brooklyn Cyclones. This was a "Salute to Pregnancy." Apparently any woman who names her baby "Brooklyn" or "Cy" will receive season tickets for free.

Gee, that seems like a wonderful reason to saddle a helpless baby with a name that will embarrass him for the rest of his life. Cy isn't too bad, but Brooklyn? I thought the 60's were over and we weren't giving our kids stupid names like "Moon Unit," "God," or "Freedom" anymore.

And maybe I'm being a curmudgeon, but why are we celebrating pregnancy at a time when money is so tight? Is this really a great time to be bringing more kids into the world, when families are already struggling to feed the mouths that are already here? I don't get it. Anyone who is pregnant right now got pregnant, at the earliest, last November when the economy was already tanking. It surely wouldn't have been my choice; I'd wait until there was a better economic picture. But, I guess I have always been too sensible.

Maybe it's just a function of more people being out of work and attending the "poor man's opera" because they are home all day anyhow. After all, 9 months after the Buffalo Blizzard of 1977, there was a bumper crop of babies and one hospital in Buffalo gave the newborns tiny tee shirts that said, "Blizzard Baby."

Or maybe I shouldn't be so critical. Maybe having a baby is a way of expressing hope, that the recession will pass and prosperity will return. I sure hope it does so all these babies (and I've seen more pregnant women this year than I have in a long time) will have the food, clothing and shelter they need to grow and thrive.

Big Bucks

Today, AM NY reported that a man who bought a pack of cigarettes received a whomping $23.1 quadrillion charge on his credit card bill.

Sure, it's ridiculous, and he doesn't have to pay, along with the others who suffered a similar glitch. But maybe it was a sign to him, that smoking cigarettes is much, much more expensive than the price of the pack. It might well cost him something worth more than quadrillions of dollars: his life.

The Bay News had a charming photo of Duke, one of the Aquarium's sea lions, giving a "sea lion kiss" to a young lady. The caption read that sea lion kisses are being sold as fundraisers for the New York Aquarium, at $200 a pop. $200? Wait a second! I happen to know that the real cost is $20. What a big blooper for the Bay News, whose proofreaders didn't catch that extra zero.

Then again, if some rich folks decide to buy $200 kisses, maybe the Bay News has done the Aquarium a big favor. It happened to me in my early days as a fundraiser: I tacked on an extra zero to a renewal request of a man who'd sent an unsolicited gift of $100 the year before. My boss chewed me out and told me to be more attentive to details, but the letter asking him to renew his gift of "$1000" had already been mailed. He sent the $1,000, and the next year he sent $10,000. So, we can only hope that this typo will turn into a windfall for the Aquarium.

Duke should only know that his kisses are 24-carat.

David's Dad

Last Thursday, the day Bruce was laid off after 23 years at National Envelope Corporation, we had a phone call we missed until early Friday morning. My childhood friend, David, called to say his father passed away.

Max was a quiet man. I remember him well but I never felt I knew him all that well. David's mother was the one involved with the children the most, so I remember her personality much more clearly.

What I do remember about Max is that he was a sheet metal worker who changed careers, becoming an elementary school teacher instead. At that time, the mid-sixties, this was just about unheard of. I knew people who had one job their whole working lives. Certainly, my Dad had the one job at Regal Emblem Company, polishing and electroplating costume jewelry and emblems. He was offered the chance to get a government job and turned it down, afraid of change.

But Max wasn't afraid. He had a dream and he followed his dream. Sometimes the kids gave him aggravation, but he must have been very happy that he made that change. In any case, his bold move stayed with me. When I changed careers, jumping out of legal publishing into fundraising, it was his example I followed. If he could do it at a time when it just wasn't done, how much easier would it be for me?

Max and Muriel raised three good human beings, and that's the highest achievement a parent can reach. So long, Max, I'll remember you.

Hot Dog!

Yesterday Bruce and I went to Coney Island to check out the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest. I never realized that this famous July 4th tradition originated in 1916, the year my mother was born. We could hardly see the stage, but we could watch the proceedings on the ESPN screen.

Unfortunately the contest was supposed to start at noon but did not begin until about 12:50 PM and we just had other things to do. So we left before the contest started and got home while it was in progress. I got a laugh out of some of the contest rules, especially the one that said a contestant would be disqualified for "Reversal of Fortune." The contestants were called "Gurgitators," another one of those nonexistent words, sort of like "sheveled." Chucking up recycled hot dogs is a no no! One of the ESPN newscasters put hot dogs, mustard and ketchup into a blender and then took a swig of liquified frankfurter! Hilarious and yucky.

The crowd was taking sides; some rooting for Chestnut (who became a 3 time champ by scarfing down 68 hot dogs this year) while others rooted for Kobiyashi and held up signs saying "Kobiyashi eats chestnuts for breakfast!"

Directly in front of us, a group of young people were wearing bright yellow tee shirts advertising "Thatsnotcool.com," a website educating kids about the dangers of cyberbullying and how to fight back against online harassment, stalking, etc. I enjoyed speaking with them.

While I was annoyed that we didn't get to see the actual contest, at least we did get to see the build up to it. There was quite a crowd and some of them probably had been there for hours. It was amusing and finally I can say we attended a world class sports event!

Mermaid Parade, 2009

Coney Island's "denizens of the deep" came out to play again this year at the start of summer. This year's Mermaid Parade began in the rain, but that didn't matter: mermaids don't melt!

They did, however, carry umbrellas and walk a lot faster than in previous years.

Before the parade began, I headed into a bar to use the facilities. There was a long line and I got talking with a gentleman wearing his hair in two pigtails, complete with teal streaks. He also wore a skirt fashioned from a transparent plastic tablecloth adorned with flowers. This was a clever way of keeping his legs dry in the rain, which was coming down pretty hard at that time. In the bar, I spotted Jennifer Miller, the bearded woman who runs Circus Amok (another one of my favorite entertainments).

We met Ferdinand on the bus heading over to the parade, but he was so intent on finding a good spot to stand that he got too far ahead of us. So we didn't stand together this year. However we met him again at the end of the parade.

I recognized a lot of the same faces from last year's parade. We saw the Elvis impersonator, the Parrot Man, the painted ladies, and of course Marty Markowitz, the Borough President, telling us we are all "meshugah" (crazy) and that this was the most undressed parade in town. (I've seen a lot of seminudity at the Pride parades too, though). The Polar Bear Club was there, along with the Rude Mechanical Orchestra, the Brooklyn Bombshells, and so on. There was the usual contingent of pirates, men in kilts, and mermaids with seashell or sea star pasties on their breasts. The costumes were up to their usual standard of wild, wacky, imaginative and sexy.

This year, Barnum and Bailey was there, but I wasn't so thrilled about that. The ASPCA has a lawsuit against them for violating the Endangered Species Act, and the circus's job application asked whether the applicant "is or has ever been" a member of PETA, The Humane Society, the ASPCA and other animal protection organizations. It smacked of the McCarthy Era and when I brought Jason's attention to it, he decided not to apply. Therefore I wasn't so happy to see the circus in the parade, even though the clown noses so many people wore were pretty cute. (Clown mermaids?)

The rain stopped after a while so that made it easier to take photos, but we had competition from the photographers who seemed to stop right in front of me every time a parader stopped and posed. There were so many photos I could have taken if they hadn't blocked my view. Still, I managed to take 930 photos and ruthlessly (!) chopped them down to a mere 291. Onward to the parade in 2010!

Star Trek: The New Movie

This time, it really is the next generation. All of the old actors from the original show have been phased out, except that Leonard Nimoy as the elderly Spock still had a part.

I thoroughly enjoyed this romp through space and time. It was pretty easy to tell who the bad guys were: they had pointy ears, deathly pale faces, and wore ugly, sharp-edged facial tattoos. Clear signs of villainy.

It was amazing witnessing the "birth" of James T. Kirk and then seeing him briefly as an adventurous and rowdy twelve year old rocketing around in an antique car (retooled from the 20th century!). I don't know cars so I would not attempt to describe the model but it clearly dated back to the early 1960's or even before. Most of the new actors fit perfectly into their roles as "baby" Kirk, Spock, Bones, etc. Uhura seemed a little older than the rest whereas on the original show she was either the same age as the captain or younger. Chekhov bore no resemblance to the original actor, but that didn't particularly bother me.

It was a fun movie, despite the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of Amanda, Spock's mother. I wonder if they will be able to go back in time and prevent these tragedies in a future episode. If so, or whatever they decide to do next, I'm up for it.

The last moments of the movie, light playing over the "brand new" original Enterprise, with the words, "Space...the final frontier..." as a voiceover, put a chill right down my baby boomer spine. And Generation Y'er Jason loved it as well. So did Bruce. All three of us recommend it highly.