"You Never Write! You Never Call!"

Tonight Bruce and I went to a book signing at Barnes and Noble. The featured book was You Never Write! You Never Call! A History of the Jewish Mother. The author, Professor Antler, discussed the book and read some excerpts from it. She talked about the negative stereotype of the Jewish mother as being a sort of hovering, interfering vampire. We heard a few Jewish Mother jokes and even though they are dreadful I just had to laugh. My favorite is, "What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist!"

Apparently Margaret Mead and a number of other anthropologists once did a study on Jewish families. They discussed the stereotype of the Jewish mother and characterized her as giving unconditional love but unfortunately expressing it through suffering, worrying and overfeeding her kids. To an extent I guess I fit that stereotype! She also said that for the second generation, kids of immigrant parents, rejecting the Jewish mother was a way of assimilating, distancing themselves from their roots. That, I don't identify with. My parents were the second generation, I'm the third.

It was an interesting presentation and I certainly could relate to it after we got so worried when we didn't hear from Jason for four days that we called up his Residence Director to get him to call us. I really don't want to do that again. It was quite a funny coincidence that this book signing came along right at this time. Maybe we needed a little levity injected into the situation.

She asked if anyone had any questions or comments and I spoke up about our worrying about Jason, and called myself a "card-carrying Jewish mother." I really do think I fit the worrywart part of the stereotype though I hope I'm not a "vampire." I'm also trying hard not to be a "helicopter parent," which Prof. Antler described as being very similar to the Jewish mother stereotype (though without any specific ethnic identity).

We didn't buy the book but I will look for it in the library. Here's the link: You Never Write! You Never Call!