Bearded Lady (Reprise)

Friday I went and got my hair colored and cut for the first time in months. I take my time about it and I let the skunk stripe of gray hair grow out too far along my part. It was finally time to do something about it so I did.

The hairdresser kept pushing me to get my face waxed. I kept saying no. She even offered to do it for free the first time. I began to think of a drug peddler, offering school kids that first joint or pill or snort for free, knowing they would get hooked and come back for more. Finally I said to her, "What part of NO don't you understand? It's only two letters!"

Thank God for assertiveness training. I read those books 20 years ago and they still stand up today.

She says I'll change my mind someday and get a waxing done, but she's wrong. I won't. I had waxing done and not only did it hurt like hell, the hairs on my upper lip and chin came right back the minute I stopped. The same thing happened with electrolysis, which burns and stings, no matter how much local anesthetic they rub on your face. It's supposed to kill the root so that the hair doesn't grow back again. Oh, really? Well, I found that more and more hair grew back, so either it wasn't true or else the tiny electric shocks stimulated more growth in the nearby hair follicles.

In any case I am almost 53 and I am through torturing myself to make those hairs go away. If I find out that laser treatments are painless and permanent I might consider it but otherwise I will just shave off the long hairs and let it go at that. I have to say again that I admire Jennifer Miller for taking what could have been a devastating blow to most women, a full beard, and turning it into a positive and really the focal point of her life since she organized a circus.

I've got a fantasy. I'll stroll into my hairdresser's salon arm in arm with Jennifer Miller and we'll both flip her the bird. No waxing for me!!