Disobedience by Naomi Alderman

Disobedience by Naomi Alderman was an excellent read. It concerns the three main characters, Ronit, Esti and Dovid, all born and raised as Orthodox Jews in the London neighborhood of Hendon. Ronit has broken away, moved to New York and become nonobservant. Long ago, when they were schoolgirls, she had a lesbian affair with Esti. Esti is now married to Dovid, Ronit's cousin.

Ronit has never intended to go back but she returns on the occasion of her father's death. Her father was a much respected and loved Rabbi, a great leader in the Orthodox community there. Ronit is not in heavy grief over her father's death since they have been estranged for at least six years, but she intends to bring back the candlesticks that her mother (who has been deceased since Ronit was a girl) used to light the Shabbos candles, as a memory of her mother.

She stays with Esti and Dovid, and though Ronit has moved on from that long-ago affair, Esti has carried a torch for her all these years. The torch erupts into a flame. Ronit brings disapproval on herself by declaring herself a lesbian at a Shabbos dinner, and then when Esti makes a pass at her, some of the nosy and self righteous neighbor women see them and misinterpret it as Ronit making an unwanted pass at Esti. Naturally they blab it around the neighborhood even though gossip is considered a huge sin.

Also as this is simmering and word is spreading, the richest man in the area and the most arrogant offers Ronit a substantial bribe to leave London and not attend her father's memorial (hesped). How she deals with this and what she does on her return to New York shows a change in her from the woman who felt compelled to open her mouth and declare herself a lesbian before people she knew would be horrified, and yet she retains her identity and sense of self. However, the return home has changed her and mellowed her a bit in her attitude toward the religion she turned her back on (though, she is never going to move back to Hendon or become part of that insular and ingrown community again).

Esti also changes, from someone who is too silent to a woman who defies the tradition of women's silence to speak out at the hesped and declare her desires for women. Dovid actually stands with her and backs her up. So, there is growth and change even within this rigid community where people have tried so hard to hold back the tides and the influence of the outside, secular world.

While I didn't grow up Orthodox we did attend an Orthodox synagogue and I had some brushes with the narrow-mindedness of that community as a teenager. I remember the position of women being clearly defined when we were told we could not come behind a certain partition and see the Torah opened. The rabbinical student who told us this made an offhand jest about women's lib and it was clear to me that he was telling us that women's lib meant nothing: we were still not fit to be around an open Torah. I also remember going to a youth group meeting at the synagogue with my friend Janet. A few of the boys in the group took a high and mighty attitude with us (probably learned from their fathers) and told Janet she could not stay because she showed up in jeans and that was disrespectful. I, on the other hand, could stay because my pants were "nice."

Of course, in the Orthodox community today, even "nice" woolen pants would not pass muster on a female and I would have been ordered out also. But at the time I stated that if Janet's attire wasn't good enough for them then I was not good enough for them either and the two of us walked out. A few months later, we went to the outdoor Purim celebration, and these same boys had partaken of a large portion of wine (as is considered proper at Purim). They were sloshed enough not to recognize us and they invited us to come to the youth group. I told them, "We came last fall and you made her leave because she was wearing jeans."

The drunken ringleader answered, "Oh, that's okay, you girls can come in anything you want. In fact you can come naked if you feel like it."

Naturally, with an invitation like that, we never showed up.

So to an extent at least I understand Ronit's desire to flee the Hendon community and live her life her own way. She asks, at the end, if it is possible for there to be passion in such a community and in such a way of life. That is indeed the crucial question. I've suggested this book to the book club and I recommend it highly.